I’M FABULOUS AND ALL SHOULD KNOW!
Meeting people and building relationships are probably two of the most important things that you will ever do in life. Being good at these two things can mean the difference between having and keeping a best friend, being able to get a job, or having your own company or not. Being fabulous has a lot to do with knowing how to “act” appropriately in any situation. You can be informal with your friends, but you need to be formal with your teachers and elders.
I have been fortunate enough to travel with young people throughout the U.S. and Europe. Everyone is excited to go on these trips, because it is a chance for them to get out of New York, to get out of their community, to meet fellow teens, and most of all to learn a new culture.
To be able to connect and respect someone else’s culture when you are in another country, or even another community – upstate or down south, you have to learn new customs. Unfortunately, this was often a battle of wills with the youth that I worked with, because they felt they already knew how to greet people by using “high fives”, special handshakes, and slang like: “yo”, “ma” and “sister”. Some girls even used the “n” word in their introductions! I must say, when the knowledge was passed down to them, the “light bulbs” were indeed bright – almost blinding! Knowledge was the key, and new power was suddenly ignited within them. The confidence was contagious and they felt they didn’t have to put themselves in an awkward situation
I’m from Canada; people take their shoes off when entering someone else’s home. When in another country, you must respect the customs that people have, as different or strange as they may seem. Remember, you are not in your house. When I was in Thailand, people bowed when they said: “Good day” and “Good bye.” Before I knew it, I was bowing out of respect for the people in this country. In return, I received some wonderful hospitality. Manners are everything.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” Our words and actions show how we care about each other. Developing social skills and manners help you make friends and connections. You were not born with these skills, you will have to learn them – everyone does. Practicing good manners helps us to properly fit in to formal or informal occasions. By using good manners, you are able to correct someone – not necessarily through your words, but by setting a good example through proper behavior. Good manners help us feel confident and help others feel relaxed and comfortable in our presence.
WHAT ARE THE 4 GOLDEN WORDS NEEDED TO HELP BUILD RELATIONSHIPS?
Say this when someone gives you something or does something for you
Say this when you ask another person for something
Say this when you can’t understand what someone is saying to you, instead of saying: “what, ugh, ahh?”
Say this when you are trying to pass by someone, or need someone’s attention
There are so many times that we don’t use these words when we should. What we have to remember is that we learn by example. If you take the time to say: “excuse me” or wish someone a “great day”, you may help out a sister or brother by letting them know how it feels to be treated with respect – even though they may not have any for them self.
I’m live in New York and when I go down south, I notice a difference in manners and courtesy. People say: “yes ma’am”,” thank you”, “how are you?”Once a southern meter maid with the sweetest attitude and smile, gave me a parking ticket, told me to have a nice day and meant it! The only thing I could say back was: “thank you.” Her manners and attitude were so contagious that I wanted to be equally nice to her. I couldn’t even go “New York” on her, because she was so sweet and kind.
I was born in Toronto and there is always a least a couple of instances that my sister reminds me of my manners. Canadians are so kind at times I forget I was raised there. Your environment and friends make such an influence are your conversation. Someone would open the door for me and I would just walk through it and not say “thank you”. I have a little bit of road rage unfortunately and in New York sometimes you have to be aggressive to get where you want, but in Toronto the patron ALWAYS has the right away. They have crosswalks throughout the city and when someone steps off the curb they have the right and the courteous thing to do is just obey the law, but unfortunately it takes me a minute to catch myself or my sister to tell me to relax “your not in New York”.
Manners help you when you are in new surroundings at a party, trying to get a part-time job, getting prepared to start applying for college, and meeting relatives you’ve never met before. The list goes on and on……. so start using these words.
The goal of this exercise is to properly have students learn how to properly learn how to introduce themselves to others.
This is a great time to do role playing. If you are giving the workshop choose a youth and come up with a scenario and act out a situation about meeting someone. This is a good time to ask the other youths to make a list of 3 things that could of been better regarding a interview an; introduction or meeting a new friend.
Going on a job interview
Bringing your significant home to meet your family
When introducing people who have never met before, it is very important who you introduce first. Here are some guidelines:
- Who you have known the longest
- Who is the most important to you
- Who has the higher status/position
For example: If you want to introduce your mother to your teacher, who would be the most important? It would be your mother because she is closer to you.
If you want to introduce your mother to your principal, who would be the most important?
It would be your principal because of his or her status.
So let’s practice introductions. Remember- if someone greets you who you really don’t want to talk to, think about how you would feel and answer them politely even if you don’t feel like it.
You should always stand when you meet someone for the first time. If it is an elder you are introducing yourself to, he or she does not have to stand. You are younger and must show respect to the adult you are meeting by standing.
It takes 14 muscles to smile and over 70 to frown. Practice and see if you can feel the difference in your face.
Look people in the eyes when meeting or talking to them. To avoid staring, look from the mouth up to the eyes. If you feel uncomfortable, practice at home in the mirror.
Use the proper handshake – firm, with your thumb pointing forward, fingers together.
Say: “Hello! My name is _____________________.”
Since your so nice they will answer “My name is _____________________
Repeat the person’s name back to them.
“It’s nice to meet you” ________________________.”
Michelle says: “Hello, my name is Michelle.”She extends her right hand and shakes Amanda’s hand.
Amanda says: “Hello Michelle, I’m Amanda. It’s nice to meet you.”
Michelle says: “It’s nice to meet you too, Amanda.”
You don’t always have to shake someone’s hand – especially if you are in an informal situation.
Please remember, it’s not about the gesture of shaking someone’s hand, but it is how you feel; your tone of your voice and how you present yourself that’s important.
Telephone and Cell Phone Etiquette is Very Important because sometimes that is your first impression before meeting someone. There can be mis-communication before meeting.
In the world today a large amount of our communication is done by text phone not hearing tone of voice and texting short hand again mis=communication.
When speaking on the phone or taking a phone call it is always important to be aware of the following:
1) Are you with someone?
Be sensitive to deciding if you like being with this person
or if it is a friend, business
Do you enjoy the persons company (decide how long you will be on the phone)
- Speak clearly, slowly
Are you at a job? “Say Good Afternoon “Name of Company” How can I help you
Answer a phone say “Hello”
3)If the call is for another person and your at work. You can say”this is Susan, Would I be able to help you? If you have to put them at hold and your at work at home you can answer by: Can you hold please; One Moment; Their not available may I take a message
- If you can’t find a pen and you need to look for a pen and it is noisy in the background put the
MUTE or COVER THE PHONE until find the pen and paper
5)If a 3rd call comes in “can you hold, please and wait for them to answer before clicking over
and getting back on the phone. Be sensitive if you need to apologize “ if you had them on
hold to long.
6) Hanging up the phone, say “thank you, have a good day, I will relay the message.
Questions to ask yourself:
Are you confident?
Are you being polite?
Do you have a firm handshake?
Who is informal to you?
Friends at school
Friends on the block
Those who you play “B” ball with
Those who you play soccer with
Those who you play tennis with
Those who you party with
Those who you go the movies with
Who can be informal or formal depending on the situation?
The man at the bodega (corner store)
A worker at McDonald’s or Burger King
A youth leader
A friend’s mother or father
Who is formal?
Your friend’s relative
Someone you are meeting for the first time (adult)
Why are manners important _____________________
Where does true beauty come from? __________________
Give an example of a celebrity whose beauty is fleeting.
How do you communicate Name 3 ways?
_____________ _____________________ ____________________
Who are Informal people you would introduce?
Who are formal people you would introduce?
The Trust Walk
The benefits is for youth to learn to trust others. Faith is something you hope for but you can’t see or can’t touch. The Trust Walk is an activity that helps people to learn to trust.
(nothing with sharp edges)
(Anything that can be built for a maze)
Must have a blind fold and chairs or boxes something that you make maze. The goal is to get the person through the maze.
Gather chairs, furniture, cushions. to make maze.
- Blind fold someone in the front and the leader stands in the back.
- There is 3 directions and you direct a person with your finger on their back and the driver in the front steering them through the maze
- Left, move finger left.. Right move finger right. .. Pointed means go.. No feeling.. Stop
Ask the question “who is the smartest one out of your friends” and if you are is there anyone else you know who you would like to meet.