I’m finding that most girls are interested in boys earlier and earlier and I hope you learn early to take accountability for your life.  It is always great to see how your friends, family are living and it can help you determine how your future will be.  The choices you make today will determine the life you will live tomorrow.

e.g..  Do you know anyone who wanted to be a doctor or a basketball player but ended up having a baby or they started drinking alcohol?

This choice changed the direction of their life.   The pursuit of their dream will take another five years to get there unfortunately they might of missed the opportunity to get the basketball scholarship.  So please hold off on temporary gratification for a future.

How do I choose a Boy Friend?

It’s important first to know that guys and girls are wired so differently and girls are emotional and guys are visual.  I find using the 4 “F” system can be a start.

FACTS:  What are the facts about this guy?

  • Do I like him as much as he likes me?
  • Do I find him attractive?
  • Do I know where he lives?
  • Do I know his full name?
  • Do I know his friends?
  • Does he have the same values as me?
  • Do I have his home number?
  • Do I know if he goes to school?
  • Do I know if he has a family?
  • Do I know if has a job?
  • Is he pursuing me?
  • Does he call me or text me?
  • Doe he send me nude pictures of himself?
  • Does he just want sex from me?

You have to find and make up your own questions, because you never give more than his giving you.  You’re the girl and their are benefits to being the girl!!

FAITH:  Do you have faith?  Faith is things you hope for but you can’t see.  That guy may be giving you the attention that you feel you need but sometimes you just have wait and learn to be friends.  Developing a friendships comes in stages and if you miss some of the stages you miss the “intimacy” of getting to know your potential boy friend.

  • Looking someone in the eyes and having a conversation
  • Touching someone.  (I can’t tell you how many young girls I know that have had sex with a guy and having held their hand)
  • Holding hands
  • Kissing on the cheek
  • Did your friends meet him (your girls will see past the sparkles that are in your eyes because at this point you can’t see clearly)
  • Going on a date (this could be a movie, day in the park, a group date with friends),but  a date is NOT you are talking to each other and not texting.
  • Kissing on the lips (only)


Are you looking to start a relationship because of a “feeling”? I can’t tell you how many young people I know who started a relationship because they “feel” like the following:

  • feel like they’re in love
  • feel like they have to have a boyfriend because their friend has one
  • feel like if they don’t sleep with him, he won’t love them
  • feel like they are worthless
  • feel like they don’t matter to anyone
  • feel like they are unloved
  • feel like they are lonely

It is important to check your feelings before you start anything. Are you interested in this relationship for the right reasons?


When you get the order right of how to build relationships you can count on a lasting relationship.